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Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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First off, I’m cruising down Cesta v Dornavo, thinking about my coffee fix. I mean, who can function without caffeine? Not me! I swing by my fave café, Kavarniška Hiša. The barista, Luka, is all smiles. I’m like, “Dude, gimme the usual.” He hands me this steaming cup of magic. I take a sip, and it’s like heaven in a mug. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. Work stuff. Ugh.