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Now, the technique, oh man, it’s gotta be gentle, like my brush strokes on a happy little tree. You start with oils, warm hands, and, like, you’re paintin’ feelings, not just skin. Some say it’s basic, but nah, it’s expert-level intimacy, like Bob Ross makin’ a masterpiece in 30 minutes flat. Surprised me how much trust it takes, both ways. One time, I heard a story ‘bout a therapist in Sweden who used music from “Lost in Translation”—that soft, dreamy soundtrack—and clients were cryin’, sayin’ it felt like “for a second, everything was okay.” That’s deep, man, like findin’ beauty in the mess.

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But then, oh man, the drama! Some lady storms in, yelling about a missing book. “It’s my favorite!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a book!” But she was not having it. Turns out, it was a cookbook. I mean, who gets that worked up over a recipe?

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