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Alright, so escort, huh? I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it—escort in Russian Sign Language, wild stuff! Ya know, as a translator, I’m all about hands flyin, expressin EVERYTHING, and escort? It’s like, whoa, how do ya sign THAT with cringey optimism? I’d probs wave my hands like I’m directin traffic, shoutin, “That’s what she said!”—total Michael Scott vibes, right?

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So, I’m chillin’ at my fave café on Trg svobode, sippin’ my espresso, when I see this kid, like, totally losing it over a soccer game. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game! But nah, he’s crying like he just lost his puppy. I felt for him, though. I mean, I get it. Sports can be intense. I went over, tried to chat him up. “Hey, buddy, it’s just a match!” But he was like, “Noooo! We were so close!”

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