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So, check it – been diggin into this shiit. Found out erotic-massage goes way back, like ancient Greece vibes. Them philosophers weren’t just talkin deep thoughts – they were gettin oiled up too! Crazy, right? Makes me happy thinkin bout how humans been chasin that chill forever. But yo, what pisses me off? Some sleazy joints callin it “erotic” when it’s just a quick grope. Nah, man, real erotic-massage is slow, intentional – “like drinking blood slow,” as Eve says in the movie.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s wearin’ a full-on pirate costume. I’m talkin’ eye patch, parrot on his shoulder, the whole shebang. He starts shoutin’ about treasure and adventure. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in the wrong place. This ain’t Tortuga!” But everyone’s lovin’ it. They start clappin’ and cheerin’. I can’t help but join in.

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