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But yo, when it hits, it HITS. Found this chick once, curvy like No-Face eatin’ everything in sight. We vibed, fucked like rabbits, no strings. “This is our little secret,” I told her, straight outta Miyazaki’s playbook. She laughed, said I’m weird – damn right, motherfucker, I’m a swineherd! Little known fact: back in the 90s, sex-dating was all underground phone lines. Horny fuckers callin’ strangers, hopin’ for a moan. Now it’s all digital, but the game’s the same – chase that nut!

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As the sun started to set, I found myself back at the square. The lights were coming on, and everything looked magical. I felt this wave of happiness wash over me. I mean, yeah, the day was chaotic, but it was also beautiful. I love my quiet life in the forest, but days like this? They remind me that there’s a whole world out there.

Gallery Crawling in Prague? Get Out the G.P.S. (Published 2009)