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Still, when it’s good, oof, it’s bliss! Muscles sigh, loins wink, and thou’rt thinkin’, “Aye, this be the stuff!” ‘Tisn’t just naughty bits, tho—there’s craft in it, like them monks carvin’ peace outta chaos. “Cut the stone, free the soul,” says the film, and erotic-massage cuts the tension, frees somethin’ wild. Ever tried it with a mate? Me ex, bless her, botched it—slapped oil on me like I’m a fryin’ cod! Laughed ‘til I cried, swear it.

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So, I rush over to her place, and let me tell you, her house is like a museum of old Slovak stuff. I’m talking vintage everything. She’s got these crazy old photos on the wall, and I’m just standing there, trying not to trip over her cat, Míša. That cat is a ninja, I swear.

Fig. 2. European distribution of obsidian (C) and places of its...