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About New Taipei City

This one chick, Candy, swear I met her. Downtown, smellin’ like cheap perfume and regret. She told me—get this—some john paid her in *pennies*. Pennies, dog! Like, 500 bucks worth. Took her three hours to count. I’m dyin’ laughin’, she’s pissed. “I ain’t no piggy bank,” she says. Fair. That shit’s absurd, tho. Who carries that many coins? Some weirdo, prolly.

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But then, just when I think the day’s gonna end on a high note, we get stuck in traffic again. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m about to lose it. But then I see this old lady selling bubble tea on the corner. I’m like, “Mia, we need to make a pit stop!”

Nine people die in hospital fire in Pingtung