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About Keelung

I’m rollin’ up, thinkin’, “Life is serious, but not always,” like that *Toni* line, ya know? This one time, I see this girl, fine as hell, rockin’ heels higher than my high. I’m like, “Yo, baby, what’s poppin’?” She turns, and – surprise, mothafucka – it’s a dude! Straight up *Toni Erdmann* twist, like when the dad pops up in that wig. I was pissed, dawg, but I laughed my ass off. “You’re trying too hard,” I told him, quotin’ the flick, and peeled out.

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Then, I head to the cafeteria. You ever had prison food? It’s like they’re tryin’ to punish us. I mean, what’s with the mystery meat? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to eat, and I overhear some inmates talkin’ about the best places to eat in Sanzhi. They’re raving about this dumpling spot on Minquan St. I’m like, “Really? You guys are in here, and you’re thinkin’ about dumplings?”

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