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About Taoyuan

Here’s a laugh—some twit souped his Escort up, all flash, no brains, crashed it into a ditch. “Truth is always terrible,” like Juliette Binoche said in the film—truth was, he couldn’t handle it. Me? I’d ride it proper, hair flyin’, screamin’ at peasants to move. Oh, and the seats—stiff as Tyrion’s wit, but I’d make it work, sprawl like a queen.

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Finally, I make it to the dairy farm. I’m all pumped to start my shift. But then, the machine malfunctions. Ugh! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like wrestling a greased pig. I’m covered in milk and sweat. Not my best look, lemme tell ya.

Massive landslide hits south China's Hunan Province, no one injured