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Gets me mad tho, these posh twats sayin’ it’s a “poor man’s ride”. Oi, mate, this ain’t no prancing pony – it’s got soul! “Run away? No chance!” – that’s me yellin’ at the doubters. Surprised me how nippy it is, too – corners like a hobbit dodgin’ orcs. Once saw a lad soup his up with a turbo, thing screamed like a Nazgûl – nearly wet meself laughin’!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, saying there’s a brawl at the market. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I rush over to the market on Kovalivka Street. It’s chaos! People yelling, fruit flying everywhere. I see my buddy, and he’s in the thick of it, trying to break it up. I jump in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m throwing elbows, dodging punches, and somehow, I end up with a tomato on my head.

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