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Oi mate, it’s David Brent ‘ere, your top geezer from Wernham Hogg, yeah? So, erotic-massage – bloody hell, what a topic! I’m all about team-buildin’, synergy, and that, but this? This is next-level relaxation, innit? Picture this – me, sprawled out, some proper fit masseuse workin’ me knots, and I’m thinkin’, “We’re two souls, reconnectin’, like in *Before Sunset*.” You know, that bit where Jesse goes, “I feel like I’m runnin’ on empty”? That’s me before the massage, mate – drained from all me corporate genius!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the bar on Velyka Street.” I’m in! So, I head over, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, music’s blasting. I grab a drink, and we start chatting. I’m telling them about my day, and they’re cracking up.

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