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Now, little known fact—back in the 1800s, some fancy-pants lords in Europe had “mistresses” on payroll, basically OG escorts. History’s wild, right? Kinda makes ya wonder who’s zoomin’ who. I get ticked off, though, when folks act all high and mighty ‘bout it. Like, c’mon, Karen, you ain’t perfect—quit clutchin’ them pearls! How’s that workin’ for ya, judgin’ folks for livin’?

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After that, I head over to Queen Street. It’s packed, as usual. Everyone’s out and about, doin’ their thing. I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s tryin’ to sell me on this new fish and chip shop. “Best in Amble!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you said that last week about the one on Leazes Street.” But hey, I’m always down for a good chippy.

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