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But then—boom—anger hits. Some punters treat ‘em like dirt, don’t even brush before a gig. Disgustin’, right? Makes me wanna yell, “This is not the way!” Like in *A History of Violence*—quiet life, then chaos. Escorts got that too—calm chats, then dodgy blokes. One told me—get this—bloke paid her in fake gold teeth once! Swear, nearly spat my tea laughin’. Little known fact: back in Victorian days, escorts sometimes doubled as tooth-pullers. Wild, eh? No NHS then, just pluckin’ molars for a quid.

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I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I hop in, and people start throwin’ balls at the target. I’m gettin’ soaked, but it’s hilarious! Kids are laughin’, parents are cheerin’. I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m crackin’ up.

Jason Atherton: 'The year's been terrifying. Some nights I haven't slept'