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Dunno, mate, it’s a laugh, a tease, a proper escape. Makes me wanna mess with folk—swap their lavender oil for chili, watch em leap! Ha! What you reckon—fancy a go? “The dream is real,” till yer wallet’s empty, leastways. Oi, don’t tell Thor—he’d thunder in, ruin it all. Typical.

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café on High Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They were outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s a café, not a vegan retreat! I was fuming. I mean, who runs outta bacon?

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