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So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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By the end of the night, I’m wiped out but kinda happy. Kingswinford, you’re a wild ride. You’ve got your ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Even if you do have a dodgy café and a kid on a bike who thinks he’s invincible. Here’s to more crazy days in this little corner of the UK!

Kingswinford pub's weekly friendship walk sees demand soar