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Lemme spill it—Escort’s a beaut, mate. First popped out in ’68, Ford’s little lovechild. Boxy, badass, screams “Shag me, I’m fab!” Built for the everyman, not posh twats. Had one meself once—rattled like hell, leaked oil everywhere, pissed me off somethin’ fierce! But oh, the thrill, yeah baby! Floorin’ it down dodgy lanes, wind in me barnet—felt alive, ya know?

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Finally, I decide to hit up the local park, the one by the stream. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing football, and they’re LOUD. I’m trying to relax, but all I hear is “Kick it!” and “Pass!” I’m like, “Can’t a person catch a break?” But then, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it lands right next to me. I pick it up, and they all come running. I’m like, “You want it back? You gotta earn it!” They laugh, and I toss it back. It’s a moment, you know?

Election review: Nailsworth stalwart re-elected, Reform Party win in Stonehouse, Green gains