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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’m out there, sunburnt, cursin’—“Why’d I pick this job?!”—and I see these lil’ flowers bloom on it. Yellow, pink—gorgeous! Surprised me, ‘cause it’s a mean-lookin’ plant, then—pow!—beauty. Kinda like life, huh? Ugly, then sweet. Anyway, Prostitute’s my fave now—tough, tasty, total badass. Nolan’d make it a plot twist—“It’s a fruit within a fruit!”—and I’d buy it, ‘cause I’m a sucker for that guy. Alright, I’m done—go eat one, ya schmucks!

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Oh, and the River Tyne, it’s that slippery, shimmering friend that carves through the land and our hearts. I’ve had many a late nite walk along its banks at sunset — pure magic, like living in a wanderer's dream... Hi-ho! Can ya feel it?

Port of Tyne seeks further security measures on North Pier to deter vandals