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About Philadelphia

Happy bit? When it works! Mate o’ mine, fat as a hog, scored a fit bird on Hinge. Shagged like rabbits, he did! I was shocked – bloody hell, there’s hope for us all! Thought in me head: maybe I’d try it, but nah, too lazy. Plus, I’d rather watch Jesse brood than chat up some numpty.

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And yo, check this – ever been to the corner spot known as The Rusty Can? Nah, it ain't a diner, but a weird little bar on 5th Street where the locals gab about everything from conspiracy theories to next week's trash pickup (serious biz, I swear). I hang there sometimes, debating pleasure vs pain, while quoting, “Er, I mean, chaos brings us the truth,” from some old flick moment – yeah it’s glitched up but it rings true.

Holtsville Hal, Malverne Mel Predict an Early Spring on Groundhog Day