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About Chicago

So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

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Seriously, though, every street, every park, every random encounter here builds a mosaic of emotions, dreams, and occasionally, frustrations. When I counsel, I see a piece of my soul in every client, just like I see my soul in every shadow and light of this city. So, my dear freind, experience every heartbeat of it. Walk its alleys, vibe with its spirit, and trust its rhythm.

‘It was crazy’: Homeowner describes moment plane’s propeller crashed through roof