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Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m no expert, just a bumbling fool stumblin’ through life’s mess. “Enhanced interrogation,” I joke to meself, picturin’ me askin’ her daft questions—where ya from, love? What’s yer fave crisp flavour? She’d prob’ly wallop me—fair dos. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it’s a lark, innit? Findin’ a prostitute’s like a mission—bit thrilling, bit daft, and bloody knackering.

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Oh, and the river meanders past Heritage Park. Its name belies its turbulent nature—coursing wild like thoughts in me head. Sometimes, I find myself wonderin’: “Is life not the same as a tangled massage?" I laugh, then slur, “aye, complications be our delight, savvy?”

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