Emilia Bat Yam Whore ❤️

About Petah Tikva

Been skulkin’ round, I have, peekin’ at whores – not proud, nope! One time, saw this tart in London, 1800s, real history, precious! Called her “The Painted Lady” – face all chalky, lips redder than blood. Tricksy, she was – robbed a lord blind! Made me cackle, it did – stupid, fat lord! “Theres nothing closer than this,” Carol whispers in me head. Whore’s close, too – too close, stinkin’ of gin and desperation.

Whore on the map, Lebanon

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So, I’m in there, and this dude behind the counter starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, the best fish is caught right off the Bat-Yam coast.” I’m like, “Dude, I know! I’m an ichthyologist!” But he just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian. Whatever, man. I bought some fresh sardines, thinking I’d whip up a killer dinner later.

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