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About Bari

So, I’m researchin’ this, right? Turns out, sexual-massage ain’t just some trendy spa crap—it’s ancient! Like, Egyptians were slidin’ oils on each other, gettin’ frisky—prolly why Cleopatra had all them men droolin’! Little factoid for ya: they used lotus oil, smells like heaven, makes ya wanna purr. I tried it once—oh honey, I was HAPPY, floatin’ like Michelle Yeoh with that sword, “I am the invincible one!”—but then my cat knocked the bottle over, ugh, I was SO mad! Sticky floor, total buzzkill.

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Finally, the rain let up, and I decided to head to the park. Parco del Popolo is my go-to spot. It’s beautiful, with all those trees and the little pond. I plopped down on a bench, just trying to chill. But then, I saw this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over where to eat. I mean, c’mon! Just go to Trattoria Da Gino! Best pasta in town!

AC Milan crowned Serie A champions for first time since 2011 with 3-0 win vs Sassuolo