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Funny bit—some profiles say “no hookups,” lol! Liars! Sex-dating’s *all* hookups, duh! Sarcasm aside, it’s a jungle. Met a chick who brought her parrot—squawked dirty words! Nearly died laughin’. “You don’t know me,” I told her, Jesse-style. She winked—night got crazier. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! But that’s the thrill, pals!

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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