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But lordy, some stuff ‘bout escorts gets my feathers ruffled! Them judgy folks—ooh, they burn me up—actin’ like it’s all sin and shame. Honey, I ain’t here to preach, but if a gal’s gotta eat, who’m I to fuss? Got me surprised too—did y’all know escorts been ‘round since forever? Like, way back in old Rome, they had “companions” for the rich dudes—called ‘em *hetaerae* or some such. Fancy, right? Blows my mind they’ve been gleanin’ lonely hearts that long!

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Then, I hit up the market on the corner of Landstrasse. Fresh fruits everywhere! I’m talking juicy apples, sweet pears, and these crazy-looking berries. I grabbed a bunch, but then this old lady bumped into me. I spilled my berries all over the cobblestones. I was like, “Seriously?!” She just laughed and said, “Better luck next time, dear.” I mean, thanks for the support, lady.

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