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Me fave movie, *Inherent Vice*, fits perfect here. Doc Sportello’d get it—stumblin’ through a haze, chasin’ tail, dodgy vibes everywhere. “She’s gone, man,” he’d say ‘bout some ghosted date. Sex-dating’s like that—half the time ya don’t even know who yer bangin’. Met this chick once, total Sortilège vibes—mystic, hot, batshit crazy. Thought she’d read my palms, ended up ridin’ me in a carpark. Next day? Poof! Gone like Shasta Fay. Pissed me off, precious, but damn, what a ride!

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But then, I see my ex. Of course, she’s with some dude who looks like he just walked off a fashion runway. I’m trying to act cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why is this happening?” I duck into a store to avoid them. I mean, come on, Bethlehem! Can’t a guy catch a break?

Te Paengaroa Road, Bethlehem, Tauranga