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Fun fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, innit? Hides the muck of it all. I’m chattin’ her up, askin’ her name—Rose, she says. Prolly fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me some punter tried payin’ with a bleedin’ goat once—laughed my arse off! “A goat?” I says, “What’s next, a tank?” She’s cacklin’, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in shit.

Revealed: The real scandalous reason Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence was known as 'Collar and Cuffs'

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I finally get to the park, and it’s packed with families. Kids running around, people having picnics. I sit on a bench, sipping my now-cold coffee, and just take it all in. Sandringham’s got this vibe, you know? It’s like a little slice of paradise in the city.

Mystery drones over Sandringham sparked major security scare in days before King Charles' meeting with Zelensky