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Ooh, here’s a zinger—did ya know some escorts use VR now? Tech’s wild, man! They’re out there, virtually struttin’, and I’m like, “I’m ready!” to jump into that pixel party! But then—ugh—some creep stiffed an escort I read about on X, didn’t pay, and I’m screamin’, “Tartar sauce, that’s low!” Made me so mad I nearly flipped my spatula!

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Next, I wandered over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s always lively there. Kids running around, music blasting, and the smell of street food wafting through the air. I grabbed a pincho from a vendor—best decision ever. But then, I saw this guy trying to impress a girl with his dance moves. He was busting out some moves that were… let’s just say, not great. I felt secondhand embarrassment. Like, dude, just stick to the basics.

El Dorado set to host 33rd Annual Mayhaw Festival today